I’m trying. I keep buying. It’s just not happening. Felliniroma

The harder I try to love Zind Humbrecht, the more frustrated I get. My latest ZinDebacle was the 2003 Pinot Gris Clos Windsbuhl: a wine without a place or purpose other than to prove how much extract you can concentrate into a dry (kind-of) white wine.

The 56 bucks I shelled out for this wine may be the greatest white wine bargain of all time if you consider the flavor delivered per Dollar. Here is that “bang-for-the-buck” we keep hearing about, for there may be plenty of bang here if you expose this wine to open flame. Clocking in at 16% alcohol (and I would not be surprised if it was higher) you risk an explosion if you drink this Pinot Gris while smoking – although it would match a good cigar better than a good meal. Seemingly inspired by the wretched excesses of a Fellini movie, this wine is to food what Roma is to movies.

What do you do with a 16% alcohol dry white wine? The answer is; you got me. I tried and tried to love this wine, which I consumed over a two week period with every type of meal and cheese you can imagine. It did not go with anything: including itself. That big burn in my throat would never go away and I had to force myself to go beyond a quarter of a glass. In fact, the better part of my last three glasses of this wine were tossed into the grass. Yes, I find it that undrinkable.

I poured the last quarter of the bottle down the drain tonight. I give up – Zind Humbrecht is beyond me and the food I eat. What is the point of a wine that does not compliment a meal?